I've been very frustrated, lately. It's been less of the "get-out-of-my-way-you're-bothering-me" kind of frustrated, and more of that terrible feeling of freshly-cut-fingernails-on-a-stark-dry-bath-towel kind of frustrated. The kind where you feel like there's a little creature gnawing at you somewhere that you just want to kick away but you can't find him. The kind where you feel like you're a WAY to big fish in a WAY too small pond - the kind of "big fish" situation that suffocates you, not makes you look awesome.
I think I realized why.
I have many ambitions. I've got small things I want to do - like read classic literature (or read anything at all) or cook more or exercise more - but I've got big things too! I want to live in exotic places. I have about 5,694 business ideas I'd love to get off the ground. I have books I want to write, skills I want to learn, shows I want to be in and things I just want to BE.
People say this is impossible.
You know, to do everything.
Those People say "Well, you're not a writer. Who are you to write a book?" or "You're not a photographer. Who are you to be taking pictures?" or "You're not an advertising major - who are you to want to intern at a design agency?"
Hence, the frustration.
It's not impossible, really. In my own way and in my own head it works out. Also - I'm a human. And since I'm a human I can do those things. Lots of other humans are doing them, so why can't I?
ISN'T BEING HUMAN ENOUGH?
That fact alone empowers me to do whatever I want. Humans have ideas. Humans DO things. And all it takes to DO something is a good idea (and a little will-power).
I think I WILL write a book - because I'm a person. A person who can write. A person with ideas who can write them down for other people to read.
I WILL be a photographer because I like it. I enjoy it. And I'm good at it. I have ideas. I crave knowledge about it and I'll keep learning. What more do I need? - a degree? A certificate that says "I'm a photographer. I enjoy it. I'm good at it. I have ideas. I crave knowledge about it." Seriously?
I think who someone "IS" or what someone "DOES" shouldn't require documentation. I really think a person can BE whoever they want or DO whatever they want regardless of formalities. It should be obvious that whatever it is is a part of them - part of the way they live. And that should be enough.
I guess now I've just got to Do It and Be It and never turn back. And no-one can tell me it's impossible.
This is a wonderful post. You've said exactly what everyone should think, but people rarely do think it. We are so often stopped by thoughts of inadequacy, but no one sets the bar but ourselves. We just have to go out and do the things we want to with a little more confidence and a little less fear.
ReplyDeleteThank you for a lovely post!
Kate x
It sounds like you are just full of hopes and dreams. That's a wonderful thing!!
ReplyDeleteIMHO, some of the best photographers have never studied a day of it. If you have "the eye," that's 99% of the game!
Best of luck, from another blogger who just happened to Stumble your way!
this is exactly how i'm feeling. Thanx
ReplyDelete