i hurt.

I feel as though i am a time-bomb.
Life is a beautiful forest, and each friend i make plants a new tree.
As friendships grow, the trees grow tall and thick and beautiful and green.
And then something happens.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
...tick.

Boom.
No more tree. It's all just charred debris.
Eventually some seedlings may try to poke through.
But it takes twice as long for those to grow in the barren, burnt soil.
This is how i feel.
This is what happens to me.
Why?