Friday, January 22, 2010

There are

things i don't think i'm particularly good at. Don't get me wrong - i don't mean this in a seriously self-demeaning way. I just mean it in the, i suppose i fall into the "average" category when it comes to this and that and the other thing. Thus, I'm not particularly good at it.

These things include:

(and don't give me any of those "No WAY! You ROCK at this and that." I'm not looking for encouragement or compliments. I've found that within myself. You see, that's why I'm writing this blog. Bear with me.)

Athletics (in general)
Pioneering "Fashion"
Making New Ideas

But sometimes i feel empowered. You see, i had a voice lesson today. YES! I'm taking voice lessons (finally.) She asked me what my "final goal" is for taking lessons. I didn't quite know what to say, but eventually my brain puked out some sort of insightful answer. I told her that my end goal wasn't to be able to sing "Don't Rain on My Parade," or "Defying Gravity." My end goal wasn't to make it to the big time. I just told her that I want control. I want control over my voice so that I COULD sing whatever i wanted, however i wanted and when i want. And so i feel confident about it as opposed to the NOT confident i currently feel.

It felt good to want that.

Lesson #1 - Assertive is good.

She told me that i'll be able to progress a lot if i worked at it. She also said I have a beautiful voice. I'm not trying to sing my own praises! No, i just am saying that maybe i'm wrong. It entered my mind that i could have something good - if i work at it.

Lesson #2 - Voice may not be so bad after all! (at the end of the semester).


So this got me thinking about the other things i don't feel so confident about. Maybe i can feel better about them - like my fleeting moment of acceptance with my voice today. I suppose that sometimes when I exercise, i feel like i've got it down and i'm strong! I suppose sometimes i feel like i've written a cleverly worded blog. I'm buying new glasses soon that DON'T look like every other pair. And I'm resolving to blog more, exercise more, sing more, EVERYTHING more so i can be better! And by better i mean confident. And by confident i mean "to have control."

So - I suppose i can do things that i'm not particularly good at in my own particular way and, thus, be particularly good at it!

I guess it's something to think about, right?

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