Happy Christmas!

At Christmas time I find myself feeling all those Christmas-associated feelings. The influence of Christ and Christian cheer runs rampant now more than any other time of year. It gladdens my heart and makes my spirit sing.

However, I get caught up with the concept of giving. One of my favorite books growing up was called "The Giver." That has nothing to do with this blog. Anyway - I find that I'm inhibited. I don't have the money to buy the things I would love to give people, and I find that I'm incapable of giving to others (to the fullest extent) the pieces of myself that I would like to give.

But I've been told it's the thought that counts. Too bad I don't entirely believe that.

However, in a feeble attempt to redeem myself and the lack of giving that I feel has taken place, I will tell you what I would give you if i could:
(you being the few who will actually read this blog. I hope you can easily identify yourselves.)

To my sister:
You have served my my whole life through your actions and example. I've learned more from you than from anyone else, i think. I am so grateful to you, and as we have become better friends, I would wish only to give you my undying support and love. I would give you everything that is mine to give.

To Marmee and Derd:
You gave me my life and all my strongest senses of right and wrong, and common sense. You have lead me, and guided me along my whole life - forgiving everything wrong and understanding everything in between. In return, I hope to relieve you with laughs, comfort you with care and understanding, and keep you involved with all the time i have to give, and honest communication in everything.

To Cinderella:
You have given me instantaneous friendship, respect and kindheartedness. I have been overwhelmed, a bit, and surprised by the outpouring, but I really appreciate it so greatly. In return, I give you my fullest degree of gratitude and mutual friendliness, and my hope to cultivate this unexpected, rapid bond.

To Henry:
You have opened my mind, my heart and my eyes in countless ways. I am fascinated by who you are, who you have been, and who you want to be, and learn such new, interesting and engrossing aspects about myself and life because of it. I love who you make me want to be and hope that through my spasmodic and odd fits of life you can know that I hope to give back to you what you have given me. And know that if I could I would give you more time for you to see, listen and learn. But since that's not mine to give, all i can offer is my dearest friendship, highest respect, and a safe space you can fall back on.

To Anemone:
You have been so consistent, and such a thoughtful influence in my life this semester. Such fast friendships, and good bonds are seldom so easily developed. I am grateful for your thoughts, and the ways you choose to express them, because I learn so much. If I could give you anything, I would give you all the success you would ever hope for in any area of your life. I want to see you on top of the world some day, and I will give you anything I can to help you get there.

To my Angel friend:
You have given me more sweetness and compassion than anyone else these past few months. Your light seems to penetrate any darkness and your strength can overcome any obstacle, whether it be yours or not. A gift I would give you is a full heart, and an eternal smile. I would blow up all the cigarette companies in the world, and I would block the dark places in your mind with mirrors to reflect your beautiful spirit. I love you, and hope that shows through every day and shame on me if it doesn't.

At any rate - when angels sing, stars shine and faces smile - I can sing, shine and smile with them. And even though there is a tender regret within my heart, a feeling of inadequacy, a feeling that I should have done more, that i should have put out more, that i should have tried harder to give - I find comfort because it is upon this day that we celebrate Christ's birth, and I know that he CAN give those things that I cannot. He already has given us those things in many cases; the tools and talents to succeed, His support, love, respect, guidance, time and His life.

Merry Christmas, my Friends. I love you and I thank you.

God bless us, Every. One.

i read it again

listen to your heart:

We form our own lives, we create our own reality, everything works out for the best. I know i drive some people crazy with what seems to be ridiculous optimism, but it has always worked out for me.

Listening is the first step and the last step.

A few individuals touch our hearts, minds and lives with their vision. It's not so much that these special people march to a different drummer, but that they carry their own orchestras around with them in their heads. And when we allow them to play their tunes, the sound reverberates for generations. they make us thin and they make us laugh.

Simple is good

Inspire individuals to be more creative, daring, outrageous and successful without raising your voice.

Show other people how to be by who you are

As we work our way through being human, hopefully we can come out a bit wiser and better for having gone through it all.

Music expresses gentleness and the vulnerability hidden in our hearts.

We see with our eyes. We know with our hearts.

Go and find your songs.


dynamite determination:

If you learn too much of what others have done, you may tend to take the same direction as everybody else.

There are no rules...and those are the rules.

Kermit is the eye in the middle of the hurricane. He's alway's in control. Sometimes just barely. But the interesting thing about it, of course, is that he created the hurricane.

If you care about what you do and work hard at it, there isn't anything you can't do if you want to.

Chase the future, face the great unknown.


together we'll nab it:

Yeah, well i've got a dream too. But it's about singing and dancing and making people happy. That's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with.

There is a sense of our characters caring for each other and having respect for each other. A positive feeling. A positive veiw of life. That's a key to everything we do. I believe that everything we do should have part of that. Sometimes we're too heavy in terms of ourselves and trying to carry an idea, and telling kids what life is about. I often have to tell myself that too.

Whenever characters become self-important or sentimental in the Muppets, then there's always another character there to blow them up immediately.

You are where you are because that's where you need to be.


it starts when we're kids:

When i was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in this world. My hope still is to leave the wolrd a little bit better for my having been there. It's a wonderful life and I love it.

I've lived my whole life through my imagination. But the world of imagination is there for all of us - a sense of play, of pretending, of wonder. It's there with us as we live.

Children don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.

Always be yourself.
Never take yourself too seriously.
And beware of advice from experts, pigs and members of Parliament.

All of a sudden you realize that you are the person who has control of your life.

The most sophisticated people i know - inside they're all children.

No time is wasted time.

There are never enough comfort stops. The places you're going are never on the map and once you gt that map out, you won't be able to refold it no matter how smart you are. So forget the map, roll down the windows, and whenever you can, pull over and have a picnic with a pig. And if you can help it, never fly as cargo.

Life is meant to be fun, and joyous and fulfilling. It's a good life. Enjoy it.


A Part of Everything and Everyone:

I find that it's very important for me to stop every now and then and get recharged and reinspired. The beauty of nature has been one of the great inspirations in my life...The wonderful color schemes of nature that always work harmoniously are particularly dazzling to me. I love to lie in an open field looking up at the sky...

Show me more.

Just looking at the incredible movement of a lizard or a bird or even the smallest insect can be a very humbling experience.

Life is basically good. People are basically good.

There are always these fences we build around ourselves and our ideas. Jim seemed to have no fences.

Concentrate on situations that my energy can affect.

He left this world a happier place because he was here, and i think that's about the finest thing a person can do with his life.

Things don't disappear. They just change, and change, and change again.

secrets

I was on the postsecret blog. I think it's genius. I think it's quite possibly one of the most brilliant concepts i've ever heard of. Everyone has secrets and everyone has things they want nothing more than to just say. I'm fascinated by it, and I wish that it were my idea, so that i could have access to thousands of secrets - i think i'd better understand the human race that way.

Secrets.
Why don't we tell them?

Are we afraid? What are we afraid of?
Are we nervous?
Scared? But of WHAT?!

Why don't we say what we feel?

If i were to send a postcard to postsecret I think it would be this:

I do tell my secrets to the people that I'd love to know them - but I do it so trickily and inaudibly that they'd never really hear me. But i feel better having said it around them, anyway.

:)

cubed

There is a cube floating in the desert. It is at such an angle where it almost appears as a diamond - but it's still just a cube. It's orange. And fuzzy - almost like it's covered in peach skin. It's tough, but the skin doesn't distract from the prominent, sharp edges of the cube. It's spinning in the air, hovering a few feet off the ground. There's a current of air coming from the bottom of the cube and it's spreading the sand around the bottom of the cube into a circle. At the edge of the circle there's a marble barrier - almost a bowl, containing the cube. And all around the whole thing, meeting the top edge of the marble barrier is a clear force-field. It's a protection of some sort - electric, maybe? But clear, and obvious.

There is a ladder. It's laying flat on the ground in the sand. It's leading up to the cube. It's not made of metal or plastic or wood. Maybe it's stone? Well, it's shiny at any rate. And though it appears to just be a pathway - covered with sand in places - it's still very much it's own entity. The edges of the ladder are not sharp at all.

There is a horse. It is pretty far from everything else. It's got it's eye on the cube and the ladder but it's doing it's own thing-drinking water, eating, walking around. It's got a rope tied around it's neck, leading to somewhere, though I cant tell where the end of the rope is. But, it's a white-ish horse with gray and brown spots and flecks that blend together more around it's back legs/bum area. It's a really stubborn horse, but very, very lovable. It's everyone's favorite horse to ride. It knows it will come to the cube and ladder eventually, but will at it's own pace. Occasionally it turns its head around to look at the cube and ladder - and should something be different about the cube and ladder it would respond immediately, but as long as the cube and ladder stay put, so does the horse.


What do YOU see when you think of a cube, ladder, and horse all alone and randomized in the desert?

my hands are shaking

why?
well, here are some possible options, i suppose:

caffine
hypoglycemia
nervousness
eagerness
ticklishness
excitement
doubtfulness
that moment when your whole body is filled with butterflies so much that you feel like you should lift right off the ground but ...you can't.

and maybe also because it's 51 degrees in my bedroom

speechless

WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE BLOGGING IN THE MAD WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING?!?!

thin slicing

I'm reading a book that I love.


It's Brilliant.

In it, I've read about the concept of "thin slicing." A concept so profound and so true that until it's pointed out to you, you'd hardly realize that you do it all day every day! Thin slicing refers to the fact that when we are faced with new things, new situations, new people, and sometimes even old situations - we deduce almost immediately how to feel about it, and how to react. I love it.

Based upon the smallest and almost imperceptible things we can realize so much.

An aspect of thin slicing that I've become painfully aware of recently is the fact that the WAY you "thin slice" someone or something can often depend on external influences and factors. It's the concept that you're more likely to do well on a test when you shift your mind into a more professorial mindset, rather than the "unprepared, ignorant student" mindset. Nothing changes about your knowledge or preparedness - only your mindset. One aspect i find exceedingly interesting (and often quite obvious) is that when you surround yourself with positive influences, you're more likely to associate positivity with the world around you.

Here's a test straight from the book:

"We make connections much more quickly between pairs of ideas that are already related in our minds than we do between pairs of ideas that are unfamiliar to us. What does that mean? Let me give you an example. Below is a list of words. Tap your finger in the approrpiate column to assign each name to the category to which it belongs. Do it as quickly as you can. Don't skip over words and don't worry if you make any mistakes.

Male ------------------- Female
.............John................
.............Bob.................
..............Amy...............
.............Holly..............
.............Joan...............
.............Derek.............
............Peggy...............
............Jason..............
............Lisa..............
.............Matt...............
............Sarah...............

That was easy, right?....That was a warm up. Now let's complete an actual IAT [test]. It works like the warm-up except now I'm going to mix two entirely separate categories together. Once again, put a check mark to either the right or the left of each word in the category to which it belongs.

Male or Career-----------------Female or Family
.....................Lisa.........................
.....................Matt.........................
.....................Laundry......................
.....................Entrepreneur.................
.....................John.........................
.....................Merchant.....................
.....................Bob..........................
.....................Capitalist...................
.....................Holly........................
.....................Joan.........................
.....................Home.........................
.....................Corporation..................
.....................Siblings.....................
.....................Peggy........................
.....................Kitchen......................
.....................Derek........................

"My guess is that most of you found that a little harder, but that you were still pretty fastat putting the words into the right categories. Now try this:

Male or Family------------------Female or Career
....................Babies........................
....................Sarah........................
....................Derek........................
....................Merchant........................
....................Employment........................
....................John........................
....................Holly........................
....................Bob........................
....................Domestic........................
....................Entrepreneur........................
....................Office........................
....................Joan........................
....................Peggy........................
....................Cousins........................
....................Grandparents........................
....................Corporation........................

Did you notice the difference? This test was quite a bit harder than the one before it, wasn't it? IF you are like most people, you took a little longer...That's because most of us have much stronger mental associations between maleness and career-oriented concepts than we do between femaleness and ideas related to careers."
(If you click this link,Harvard Research, then you, too can be a part of Harvard's research regarding this theory!)

Interesting, right?

Today - i looked around my room, listening to Glen Hansard, the Beatles, jazz and other such happies, I saw 3 books on my desk next to my joy journal; "Blink," "Peter Pan," and "C.S. Lewis on Joy." I saw a painting of Brian Andreas that says "Feels like some kind of ride but it's turning out just to be life going absolutely perfectly." I saw a Beatles poster, a picture of my grandfather, my sister, my friends, and Jesus. And as i remember where I've been and who I've left pieces of myself with, I feel content.

I think I'm attracted to positivity. I think we all are- but sometimes feel guilty about it. But because of that, I almost want more of it - to be freakishly optimistic is, admittedly, a strange goal I have in sight.
And so,
I can only hope that these external factors really do help my perspective. I think that sometimes I feel them in the things i do and the ways i react. And that - well, that makes me happy.
And happiness is certainly a step in the right direction, after all.